Sunday, September 9, 2012

I Did It For Me

This blog posting may seem a little long, obsessive and silly, but stay tuned to the end.  It all comes together.  :)

In 2006 my hair was long and lovely.  I spent the time each morning to fix it and each morning I left the house with glorious curled and flowing hair.  It was pretty cool, except at the back of my mind I missed my naturally curly hair.  

For many years prior to 2006 my hair was shorter (not short, just shorter) and I wore it natural hair.  I LOVED it.  Of course, I was 40 pounds lighter and more muscular so the shorter, curlier hair looked good on me.  For some reason I decided that the more I weighed the longer and more flowing my hair needed to be. Go figure.

In December 2006 I was on my way to the airport to meet dear friends in California, but first I had a hair appointment.  I don't know how it happened...all I know is that I walked out of the salon with short (to-my-ears-short) hair.  OH MY!  It meant that I could style my hair with its natural curl (it wasn't long enough to wave!), which was good.  It also meant that when my friends picked me up at the airport they didn't recognize me, which is bad.

Fast forward to 2012.  Again, my hair was long (even longer than 2006) and lovely.  In fact, my hair was so long that I couldn't style it by myself so three times a week I went to a salon before work for a wash, blow dry and style.  After a year of this my hair became a burden.  It tangled on everything and I couldn't sleep with it down.  

Months ago I realized that I had to do something because my hair was taking over my life.  It seemed as if everyone was enamored with my hair because of its length, but they were losing sight of the fact that Carleen was under all of that hair. Friends kept saying, "don't cut your hair!!!" as if it would be a crime.  I realized that my friends and family remembered December 2006 all too well, but now I was carrying the weight of disappointing them if I cut my hair.  Crazy.

My hair had its own personality....its own following and I was its slave (this is what I felt like).  Soon, I was resentful of my stupid longggggg hair.

Not long thereafter, I had an epiphany..."Look it, Carleen, cut your hair and live your life.  Spending $650/month on wash and styling fees is ridiculous and your hair is a burden.  Cut it!"  So I did.  I found a style that has swing and bounce and that makes my happy...AND that looks good.  No repeat of December 2006.  I did it for me and no one else.  In fact, I did it for me in spite of everyone's love of my long hair.

Is there something in your life that you keep doing or keep being simply because of other people?  Are you miserable simply because you are fitting in with everyone's expectations?  Don't allow anyone's expectations or desires to be a burden to you. If you want to wear flats instead of stilettos, wear flats.  If you want curly hair instead of flat-iron-straight hair, go curly.  If you like the book club instead of the cheerleading team or drill team, book it.  I'm telling you:  life is too short and you must follow your heart.  Do it for you.

Make yourself happy and go with God.