Saturday, October 16, 2010

A new man in my life

I have a new man in my life. He is 5 years old and he has long hair. I adopted him 3 weeks ago and he has changed my life! He is small like I am. He is a toy Chihuahua. LOL. I adopted a long hair, toy Chihuahua and his name is Stanley. I just LOVE him, and we are having the best time.

I've never had a pet before so this is a new experience, but I love it. You see, before Stanley, everything in my life centered on ME. I had my work, my gym, my Starbucks and my stuff. My life was so self-centered. I needed someone in my life to give love and affection to...someone to keep me accountable and give me responsibility, and Stanley is it. Yes, I know that a boyfriend or husband or even an adopted child do the same thing, but I needed to start with small steps...didn't want to take the plunge and drown in going big. I wanted to start small, so I did.

Actually, I am finding that Stanley is teaching me about myself. For instance, I’ve learned that I am WAY affectionate. should hear me talk to him. Even as I write this blog he is sitting in my lap with his little tail wagging. (Melt the heart, right?) Another thing I’ve learned about myself is that I am soooooo generous with my love. Stanley also is teaching me how to balance being very much the person who I am, while also sharing my life with someone else. It is a balance that I’ve had difficulty with over the years, but this balance is healthy and I need to get it under my belt.

For any one who wants to get married one day and have children, I recommend that you start with a pet. Stanley is getting me up earlier in the mornings. I walk him and feed him throughout the day. Now, I have to plan my schedule with him in mind...which is good because I am leaving the office earlier, staying home more (no more malls!) and changing my habits to make room for Stanley. Stanley needs a lot of affection and attention. Hello!! He likes to be held and walked around the house. He likes to rest his little head on my shoulder and nestle his little nose around my neck. I do this with him in the morning and at night.

He is not someone who I can just keep in the house and still do my own thing like he isn’t there. It is good that he makes me change my habits because, I admit, I might have the tendency to treat a boyfriend or husband like they were a piece of furniture. I know that’s bad but what I mean is that for someone who has been single for so long it is not entirely natural for “all of a sudden” Mr. Wonderful to get an invitation to come inside the house. There are a lot of people out there who enjoy (rather, cling to) being single. We cling to our careers, material possessions, flexible schedule…we cling to our freedom! We say that “one day” we want to marry or date, but when it comes down to it we can be so inflexible that Mr. Wonderful has to make an appointment to even see us. Come on now! Say amen somebody! I’m not talking to only myself. I’m talking about many single people out there.

I don’t want to be like that, whether in a dating relationship or in a marriage. I don’t want to be selfish or self-absorbed, and I need practice in sharing my life. Believe it or not (and as silly as this sounds) Stanley helps me with this “practice” in playing nice and friendly with “my life.” He is putting me in practice so that sharing my life (time, schedule, activities, home) and myself with someone is becoming natural. I’m getting in the groove.

So, the moral of this story (lol) is that pets can bring so much joy and love INTO your life and OUT OF you. It is like a flood of happiness that you don’t get to partake in until you join the pet club. I encourage you to share your life. Whether you share it with a cat, dog, child, man, woman…whatever…just do it. Don’t have a life filled with only you. Oh, that is such a one-dimensional way to live. We all have a deep and wide and big heart inside of us, and the love in our hearts is meant to be shared. Love yourself then pass your love on….

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Say a little prayer.....

I was approaching the door of my coffee shop (ahem...chocolate milk shop) when I saw her approaching too. She and I are friendly towards each other although we hardly see each other anymore. We exchanged " you doing?" as we both walked into the shop. I don't know how the conversion turned to the topic of where we live, but it did. I said, "Oh, I live just over [yada yada yada]," and she replied, "Really? I live nearby...just over [la la la la la]." Then, I looked at her ....into her face....because something clicked in my subconsciousness that something wasn't right. In my mind I was saying to myself, "Wait! I thought she lived far away over on the other side of downtown...She had a house, right? Hmmmm, what has happened to cause her to live over here?! Is she looking for a house over here?! Why would she do that!?....This is not really her kind of a place (the burbs). Is she ok?...Is everything alright?" I was having this whole internal conversation in my body was moving in slow motion but my mind was racing as I tried to figure out what my heart and spirit was telling me about her. Then....I looked into her eyes. They were full of sorrow and sadness. She was trying to hide her misery behind her smile and my heart saw it all. She recently had lost a relationship and had to move out. It was her girlfriend's house.

I hated to see her in pain like that, but it wasn't an appropriate time for me to ask about it (we were in line and it was her time up at the cash register to put in her order). Oh, have you ever wanted to just hug someone who was in pain but you couldn't because the circumstances aren't right? I didn't see her as a gay or lesbian woman at that moment...all I saw was a broken heart. You know, Jesus didn't see a loose woman at the well when he looked upon the Samaritan woman. Jesus saw a soul that was lost and in pain and He spoke with kindness to her.

No matter the lifestyle of a person, there is a time for kindness and compassion for their heart and soul. There are people we come in contact with everyday whose eyes are hiding the pain in their heart. They may be confused or troubled, or they may be fearful and full of despair. You know what I've started doing? I've started to pray in my heart for people as I see them and then at night I pray for them out loud. It is my way of staying honest before is important to pray for others. So many people have no one to pray for is a shame. How blessed you and I are if there is but one person praying for us.

God hears the shortest of prayers. He hears long ones too. Jesus Christ sits at the right hand of God and prays for you. There may be someone who crossed your path today who is praying for you…you may not even know it. If you remember, say a little prayer for someone in your life today. Your prayer is like a blanket on a cold day…it covers their life with protection. Love someone today…pray for them, and know that I am praying for you. Love.